As one of English football’s great characters, there are plenty of hilarious stories about Paul Gascoigne – perfect medicine for these current uncertain times.
With a lot of us stuck at home and with all sport on hiatus due to the coronavirus crisis, talkSPORT.com is looking back through the archives to bring you some of the funniest stories.
And here’s a gem from Ally McCoist about his time as Gazza’s
minder teammate at Rangers.
This tale starts with Ally being woken up by his scared wife in the middle of the night, saying there was somebody in their house.
The Gers legend did what any man would do, picking up a golf club and stalking downstairs.
Hearing noises from the kitchen, Coisty busts open the door, prepared to use his make-shift weapon against the assailant…
… only to find Gazza’s head in his fridge, making a late night snack!
Listen to the hilarious full story from Ally below!
McCoist explained: “I was in my bed at three or four o’clock in the morning and my wife said to me: ‘There’s somebody downstairs.’ So I listened, and sure enough I could hear somebody downstairs.
“So I jumped up and I got a three iron, and I could never hit a three iron at the best of times, so it’s the wrong club I’ve picked up, clearly!
“I go downstairs and I can hear noises coming from the kitchen. So you’re faced with this prospect of a burglar, or whatever it may be; an intruder in your house.
“So, anyway, I actually kick open the kitchen door, and what I’m faced with is the back of Paul Gascoigne in my fridge.
“This is half past three in the morning, and he doesn’t even turn around. I said: ‘Paul, what are you doing?’ He still doesn’t turn around and tells me: ‘I’m making a sandwich.’
“I said: ‘Ya wha? It’s half past three in the morning!’ Now, remember, he lives in the next village.
“He said: ‘I know but I woke up and I couldn’t get back to sleep and I’m hungry and I didn’t have any food in the fridge.’
“So my next question is, clearly: ‘How did you get in?’
“He said: ‘I remember about three or four weeks ago you were on the phone to your missus and you told her you left the spare key in a wee bag underneath the oak tree. I remembered that and I just thought I would come and use your key to make a sandwich.’
“So I went back up the stairs and my missus said: ‘What’s going on?!’
“I said: ‘Ah, you’re alright, it’s only Paul making a sandwich.’”
Who else but Gazza?